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Tuesday, October 18, 2011


I'm happy to report, that I FINALLY GOT A JOB!!

I'm so excited! And even better, I get to work with one of my good friends and old roommate! 

It's also something that I haven't done, so I get to learn a lot of new things!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

October 9th, 2001...

10 years ago.

I can't believe that much time has passed.

It seems like only yesterday was the worst day of my life and one that changed the course of my life forever, and helped me become such a stronger person.

Let me take you back to that Tuesday day. I was a senior in high school. School that day was a blur, but I had work experience for the last 2 periods of the day, so I always went home at lunch. I had conditioning for basketball after school, but for some reason I didn't feel like going.

My 2 best friends. Desiree and Heather, also had these periods off. It was normal for us to talk throughout the day. That day, Heather called me a lot. Her real mom sent her a letter pretty much saying that she didn't want Heather in her life anymore. 

But Heather's mood felt real strange to me over the phone. She had told me that she had a bbgun, and shot holes into her clothing basket and one into the banister. I freaked out and told her that I was going to come over. She told me not to, and if I did she was "going to do something stupid."

 Those words still haunt me until this day.

Heather had to get off the phone, so I immediately called my best friend Desiree. She had her little sister with her, and I told her that I was worried about Heather. She took her sister home, and then came to my house to pick me up. 
I told her about the things that were said in my phone calls to Heather. We both agreed that suicide was not a thing that Heather would do. 

We parked around the corner from her house, so she wouldn't see us. Her door was always unlocked and were always welcome into her home. So we walked in and called for her. There was no answer. The house had such a weird silence to it. 
We went to her room and we could see her lying on the bed. We yelled at her to get up and it was such a sick joke. But she didn't move. Then I could see some blood in her top ear. The phone was right next to her, and as I reached for it, Desiree yelled at me not to touch her. All I could say was, "The phone."

She grabbed it and we ran outside to the driveway and called 911. After she told that what had happened, they asked if she still had a pulse. She refused to go back into the room, so I had to. 

I can never forget that image of her. There. With the blood.

Luckily the bullet never left, so there was not as much blood as you would expect.

All I can remember after that is being interview by the police, and calling my coaches and a few close friends with the news.

The next day I went to school. It also happens to be my mom's birthday. Not many students knew what had happened. I can't forget overhearing a student saying, "She could've at least waited until after homecoming." Or others saying after seeing people cry, "Did someone die that we don't know about?"

It wasn't until the 2nd period of the day that they called in the counselors. I remember people asking questions like who found her and other rumors that they heard and I had to speak up at that point. I can't believe the looks that I got and the questions floored in. All I can remember saying is that "I'm glad that I found her and not her parents. They should never have to see that."

We found out later that Heather was on anti-depressants, but she stopped taking them and the number 1 side affect of sudden with draw is suicide.
And for you all thinking, "Why did they have a gun?" If someone wants to kill themselves, they will do it, no matter what!

So now 10 years later, I have spoken to a few high schools and reached out to some kids that were on the verge of this same fate. And I pray that if anyone out there is going through any hard situation, just remember that you can make it through it, even though I know that you don't feel like it.  Also, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

So today, as I celebrate some birthday's with my family, I will have that fake smile on. No matter how much time has passed I still miss her and it doesn't get any easier.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Juice Yo-self...

So a week ago, I decided to replace one meal a day with fresh squeezed juice, and I love it!  Hopefully soon I can build up to a full cleanse, but for now this is all I think I can do.

Getting all the fruits and veggies ready.

I loved the colors! YUM!!


Saturday, October 1, 2011

Just a Few Things...

First off, I want to tell you about two recent purcheses that I'm in love with!

Yes, the color is not my fav, but I got a great deal on it! $8.49(including tax) at Wal-Mart, but a $5.00 rebate.  So only $3.50! Score!!


Yes! I'm in LOVE! They were more then I wanted to spend, but I just had to have them. And I may or may not have bought the same ones for my friends 4 year old daughter!

Also, I've been working my tail off trying to make money and that equals no days off and no life!

But I do start every morning with fresh juice that I juiced. And I love it! I love knowing that I'm getting my servings of fruits and veggies in!

So I have a little perdicamint. I "work" as a temp up to 5 days a week at an apartment leasing office, and I hate it, but they do want to hire me. I've also been "working" at my friends dad's company 2ish days a week, and she's trying to get me employed part time. But I've had 2ish interviews at a Mercedes dealership, and a third one this week. I know the dealership has unlimited growth, but should I hold out for this, or try at the apartments just to get a job? HELP!

Also, who else is excited for this premire tomorrow?!

I know that I am!!!